Good morning friends
“Is it okay to get bored ?” That was the question asked by one of the parents in the Parent-Teacher Meeting of my son’s kindergarten class. She was obviously asking about her child. She further added that at times, her child looks bored, but is not interested in any activity that she suggests. She wanted to know what she should be doing at such times. The teacher was an experienced one, having worked with kindergarten children for many years and she told us that it’s perfectly okay for a child to get bored occasionally. In fact, such times, when the child’s brain and mind are rested, may lead to creative activities later on.
In the era of joint families, this question of whether the child is getting bored or not did not arise at all. Most of the times the mother was very busy looking after the housework, but then there was always someone or the other to take care of the child…maybe an older sibling,maybe grandparents, or aunts or uncles. In the modern times however, many parents don’t have much help with child rearing except hired helps. Also the anxiety levels of parents are higher, probably because they have no support ,so they are often wondering whether they are going in the right direction with regard to bringing up their child. And that’s why such questions arise in the minds of parents these days. The internet or the social media can only add to the confusion.
Many times we as doctors see that parents want their child to be busy all the time. They don’t want their child to ‘waste’ even a single moment of the day. And if it’s a single child, the expectation scale starts even higher. We see many parents enrolling their children in classes from a very young age.
Actually, the truth is that the young children, of kindergarten age, need a lot of unstructured play. Structured activities should not happen more than a few minutes at a stretch. The unstructured play time is the time when the child’s creativity is at a peak and that is very important for later development. I met a mother once who complained that her child plays only with leaves and flowers and mud when she goes to play with her friends. The mother wanted to know what she could do to change this pattern. I had a tough time explaining to her that this is exactly what the child needed to do at her age… the feel of the natural elements in her hands, the exposure to various colours and textures was crucial to the sensory development of her child.
And that’s why it’s perfectly fine if the child is bored occasionally. There is no need for the parents to feel guilty. The boredom may be the seed for subsequent creativity !
While we are talking of boredom in children, what about boredom in adults ? Many adults also feel that they should be busy all the time, they should not be wasting a single moment of their waking hours. Is it okay for adults too to get bored occasionally ?( I am not talking of someone who is bored all the time )
Let me quote Osho here: he says ,”We are constantly drilled with the aphorism,’Don’t just stand there – do something! Yet, Buddha would say, ‘Don’t just do something – stand there!’ “He further says,
“ ‘Sitting silently, doing nothing, the spring comes and the grass grows by itself.’ It is only out of silence that action arises.“
So, even with adults, we need to rest our overworked brains intermittently. It’s ok to get bored occasionally… that will only make you more productive later!
I hope you are ready to explore this art of ‘sitting silently, doing nothing’ !
Love,
Anjali Bhatawdekar
