Good morning friends
At the moment of writing this, I am sitting outside the operation theatre waiting for my sister-in-law’s knee surgery to get over. The waiting lounge is common for the operation theatre as well as the ICU. So, many people are anxiously waiting in the lounge. Most of the relatives are either talking on the phone or amongst themselves or engaged in reading from their phones. Still, they cannot hide their anxiety. It reveals itself in the way they look up when a name or bed number is called out, in the way they cannot really concentrate on reading, in the way they fidget….
This anxiety and worrying is of course, quite normal in these circumstances, but beyond a certain point, it can be detrimental not only for the relatives, but also for the patients, especially when you are in close proximity to the patient. This is because the anxiety vibrations attract similar negative vibrations. That’s why it is recommended in the medical profession that a doctor should not operate upon a close family member. The reason behind this is very simple: If the operating doctor is very anxious ( because of his close relationship), then there are more chances that mistakes may occur.
Even while treating someone, it’s my experience that if the patient is very dear to you, outwardly you may be reassuring, but in your mind you start thinking of all sorts of rare complications and that is actually absolutely irrational…. And the funny thing is that this doesn’t happen when you are treating a patient with a similar condition but he/ she is not related to you. It means that close relationship with a patient may increase the doctor’s anxiety level.
I have heard Osho talk about this excessive anxiety in close relatives of patients. He says that if a child is seriously ill and the mother is very anxious, it is better for someone else to take care of her child. Because if the mother is sending out anxious vibrations all the time, if she has irrational fears, the child also unconsciously absorbs these vibrations, which in turn will attract more negative vibrations. Obviously, this will adversely affect the recovery process.
And the same is true for adult patients too. Persons looking after a very sick person should be caring but preferably unrelated to the patient as they will not worry too much about the patient and his condition. That’s probably why relatives are not permitted in the ICUs of hospitals. Of course, the relatives should be allowed to see the patient for at least a few minutes during the day to reassure both the patients and their families or friends.
And when you actually see a sick patient, it is better if you can smile and send out positive vibrations rather than breaking down in tears. This is easier said than done of course, but one thing which can help anyone in this situation is to offer prayers. Sincere prayers can significantly reduce your anxiety and stress because you can transfer all your worries to the God or the supreme power in which you believe …परमेश्वरावर भार टाकून मोकळं होता येतं…I think prayers can also help you trust that whatever happens will be the best outcome.
Speaking for myself, I carried my Mandala gear with me and while waiting for the operation to get over… it took close to 6 hours…. I reduced my stress by meditatively drawing 3 Mandalas.
More about what to do and what not to do in the presence of a serious patient some other time.
Love,
Anjali Bhatawdekar
