Good morning friends
“If you met your exact self as another person, would you like them ? Would they be a good friend ?” I came across this quote a few days ago and it started a chain of thoughts. And the longer I thought about it,the more I pondered over what is it that I like in another person.
As my thought process deepened, I realised that the answer is not very simple. Depending on my moods, I like different people at different times. At times, I am interested in having a good time, laughing and joking; at another time, I just want to sit quietly reading a book or listening to music ……another person is welcome at such times only if we can communicate in silence! There are yet other times when I want to go window shopping, or to an exhibition or to a movie and discuss issues about Life while we are doing that. Sometimes I just want to enjoy the breeze on the beach and watch the colours of the sunset or sit under the shade of a tree and appreciate the beauty of nature. And there are also times when I want to talk heart to heart with a friend, a soulmate…..
And there are very few people who can be all this in one, so I seek different people at different times depending on my needs and wants. And that is precisely the reason why all of us have vastly different types of friends, each one satisfying different needs at different times.
In general, I realised that I like people who are happy, satisfied, have a sense of fulfilment with what they do , have a good sense of humour , those who are ready to help others ( without any expectations ) and are at Peace with themselves.
When I reached this point in my thought chain, I started thinking about the kind of people that I do not like meeting or those I don’t consider as good friends. And I could pinpoint a few characteristics about such people. I am not really fond of meeting people who are complaining all the time, or those who persist in blaming others for their misfortune or those who want to control everyone around them. I am not keen on the company of people who are boasting about themselves or their achievements continuously. I don’t enjoy the company of people who are angry all the time, just as I don’t like to be in touch with people who like to find faults with others constantly. It is also difficult to look forward to meeting people who are always sad, as their sadness seems to stick on to you if you spend a lot of time with them.
Of course, all of us have these negative emotions at some time or the other. If the negativity occurs only occasionally, friends and family can help in tackling these vibrations. But if someone carries this negativity like a cloak around him / her, others may avoid such people.
But what if I myself , am continually caught up in such negativity? Do I like myself then? As I reached this point in my thought process, I remembered the rest of the quote. ” Remember that no one on earth spends more time with you than ………you ! ” And so, if I want a good friend, I need to be a person that I myself like and admire and want to spend time with ! If I am constantly angry or complaining or blaming or throwing out other negative emotions, would I like to spend time with myself? The answer is quite obvious, isn’t it ?
Reading and remembering this quote has inspired me to reflect on myself, on my strengths as well as my weaknesses. It has shown me my potential and also my weaker side. Most of all, it has encouraged me to be a good friend to myself !! Instead of searching for an illusory good friend outside, I have promised myself that I will try my best to be a good friend to myself.
What about you? Are you a good friend to yourself?
Love,
Anjali Bhatawdekar
