It is certainly difficult to see a loved one go through difficult times, mentally and physically.
What can make the situation even more challenging?
Supporting a loved one through something you have never experienced before or know little to nothing about.
So here are 8 things you can keep in mind when caring for or supporting a loved one going for counselling/therapy:
- It’s okay to check-in after a session.
It is perfectly alright to ask how their counselling session went. It just means that you care. This however does not mean that the person will always feel comfortable or want to share all that transpired in the session, and that should be respected.
Should your loved one choose to share what happened, be completely present, listen and be open to the possibility of them being vulnerable.
Should they choose not to divulge details, don’t push or force them to discuss. Pushing them to talk about the sessions when they are not comfortable might eventually interfere with the therapeutic process.
2. There could be some distress.
While counselling eventually leads to healthier coping mechanisms and overall growth, it may not be a smooth sailing ride all the time. During the course of counselling, one might have to deal with uncomfortable feelings and unpleasant memories. This can be tiring as well as distressing. Each person deals with this differently. While some might ask for space post a session, some others might want company.
3. Commend their decision to prioritise mental health
Confronting one’s unpleasant emotions and breaking maladaptive coping mechanisms week on week can get upsetting. Commending their decision to seek counselling from time to time might help your loved one feel supported and choose to continue with the process even if it gets uncomfortable sometimes.
4. Changes don’t occur overnight.
Working on any kind of issue takes time. The timeline differs for each person depending on the problem at hand, their circumstances, etc. Moreover the counselling process involves going through various stages such as trusting one’s counsellor, learning about yourself before you can actually start making changes. Hence, restraining your expectations and being patient with the process can help a great deal.
5. Help out with homework.
Sometimes counsellors may give tasks or activities to do between sessions as means to continue self work. Offering to help with these tasks (within limits) or simply being there for them while they carry them out can make a lot of difference. Although, forcing them or constantly monitoring their homework is not advisable.
6. Be open to interaction.
At times some counsellors may invite you to join a counselling session. It would be nice to take up such opportunities and participate. Such interactions may prove beneficial and help your loved one bring about the changes they desire to make.
7. Acknowledge the positive changes.
Speaking of changes, acknowledging positive changes during the course of the therapeutic journey can help a lot. Not only does it help your loved one notice the changes that they may not have realised, it is also an indication that you are looking out for them and encourages them to carry on working on themselves.
8. Read up.
It is always a good idea to educate yourself about your loved one’s mental health condition(s).
Chances are your loved one’s counsellor may take an entire session on this matter. If not, you can always ask for resources or do your research. Doing this will definitely help empathise better and aid in navigating through your caregiving journey.
Bonus: Consider getting support yourself
While it is really good that your loved one is getting professional help, it can sometimes put pressure on those in their support system to be present all the time without receiving any help themselves. Build a support system for yourself or you can try going to therapy yourself. Make sure you are getting adequate physical and emotional nourishment. Remember, you can’t pour out of an empty jug!