I would like to tell you about this Amazing lady that helps us in cooking and cleaning our house. At least once in 4- 5 days, she enters the house with a huge grin on her face and asks me, ” Do you know what happened yesterday? It was so funny….” and then she will start with her narrative of some mishap e.g. how she forgot to turn off the taps and the house was flooded with water, or how she forgot the keys and had to break open the lock or how she bought something special and forgot it in the store or how she tried out a new recipe and made a mess of it…. Actually, none of the stories are really funny….I mean, if they happened to me, I would be either angry or upset or feel guilty, but she has this wonderful capacity to laugh at her mistakes, and in turn, make others laugh ! I have been trying to emulate her for years, but have not yet succeeded.
One incident that is etched in my mind about smiling, happened years ago. We had just been married and we had to stay with an eccentric relative of my husband Manoj for 2 days. This man was so obsessive that he would tell us the exact angle at which the milk bag should be cut! As Manoj knew this person was whimsical, we had decided to just smile at each other whenever we were given some irritating instructions. And that helped! Whenever this happened, Manoj and I would just look at each other and smile…and there was no irritation and no anger !!
One more experience : A few years ago, I used to be out of the house for work for long hours, and when I reached home, I would find the house in a mess. This would make me irritable and angry; it would spoil my mood and the harmony in the home would be lost. Manoj brought this to my notice after it happened a couple of times. Then I decided to try and change the situation. The mess in the house was unavoidable, so I had to change my reaction to it. As I became aware of the problem, I started preparing myself for the mess a few minutes before entering the house. I decided to enter the house with a smile, to greet my family and try to ignore the mess. And most of the times it worked. Just putting a smile on my face, helped me get rid of the irritation and the anger. Of course, I do fall into the same trap if I am not aware, so I have to consciously remind myself to put that smile in place. But just having that smile in place helps tremendously!
Another time when Smiling helped me was during my chemotherapy. I had lost all my hair including my eyebrows, but whenever I smiled at myself in the mirror, I would see a beautiful person who radiated Joy and who was at Peace with herself. As I saw beauty in myself, so did the others! I never ever felt ugly, thanks to that smile!
I have also found that if I don’t have a frown on my face when I am criticising some behaviour, the criticism is accepted better. Even during situations making you angry, if I can smile (inside) at that situation, I can express myself better and the criticism is more constructive.
One important practice that I have adopted in recent years is Smiling at myself in the mirror before going off to sleep. I smile at myself, appreciate myself for all the good things that I have done during the day and offer Gratitude that I was allowed to do so. This has deepened my practice of Gratitude and has certainly made me happier.
I am sharing a short story in this context…
Hoping that all of us can smile more and radiate our Joy,
Love,
Anjali Bhatawdekar
1000 mirrors
A person asked a question to his Guru, “My workers are not true to me. My children, my wife and the entire world is very selfish. Nobody is correct.”
Guru smiled and told a story…,
In one small village there was a room with 1000 mirrors. One small girl used to go inside and play! Seeing thousands of children around her she was joyful. She would clap her hands and all the 1000 children would clap back at her. She considered this place as the world’s happiest n beautiful place and would visit often.
This same place was once visited by a sad n a depressed person. He saw around him thousands of angry men staring at him. He got scared and raised his hands to hit them and in return 1000 hands lifted to hit him back. He thought… this is the worst place in the world and left that place.
This world is also a room with 1000 mirrors around you… What we let out of us is what the universe will give back to us.!!”This world is a heaven. Or Hell. It’s up to us what we make out of it…” said the Guru….
