Good morning friends!
Today I would like to share a true story that took place many years ago, when I was working as an Honorary Paediatrician at a small municipal maternity home. One day, while I was taking my rounds, one of the Sisters came running to call me, and asked me to have a look at a child which was brought to the hospital as an emergency. I found a 9 – 10 month old child who was not breathing, the heart was not beating. Immediately, we started resuscitation while asking the parents what had happened. Apparently, this child had just learnt to walk with support and walked into the bathroom where a tub was filled with water. The child probably lost its balance and was found some time later by the mother in the tub with the head submerged under water and not breathing. They were not sure how much time the child had been under water. As they stayed just across the hospital, they had rushed to the hospital with the child. We continued our efforts to revive the child, but there was no response. In the meanwhile, an ambulance had been called to take the child to a bigger hospital. The ambulance arrived, but even after 25-30 minutes, there was no heart beat, no breathing. The eyes of the child were showing evidence of brain death. So sadly, I asked the Sister to send away the ambulance as there was no point in transferring a dead child. It was at this moment that a miracle occurred. Even after more than 25 years which have passed since this incident, I still vividly remember the next few minutes of this dramatic situation. I told the Sisters that we have to declare the death to the parents and turned away to wash my hands. Just as I was washing my hands, one of the Sisters shouted, ” Madam, come quickly! The child has taken a breath !” Once again, I rushed to the baby, restarted the resuscitation, and this time the baby revived enough to be transferred to a bigger hospital in the ambulance. We had clearly saved the child for the time being, but I had many misgivings about the outcome of the baby; because the baby had not been breathing for more than half an hour and there was every likelihood that the baby would have at least some amount of brain damage. Later in the evening, I called the bigger hospital with this fear in my heart, dreading to hear about the child’s condition and I was pleasantly surprised to hear that the baby was absolutely fine,and was sitting up in bed having dinner. I still kept my fingers crossed and asked the parents to come and see me after discharge. A couple of days later , a happy mother brought the child to our hospital and on examination, the child looked absolutely normal. But I wanted to be sure that everything was alright with respect to the functioning of the brain; so I asked the mother if she found any difference in the child after this episode of near drowning. The mother thought for a few minutes and said,”yes….. there’s a difference….. ” I waited with bated breath as she continued, ” She was not talking before this incident, now she has started talking ! ” I almost laughed in relief. Here I was , expecting a horrible outcome …..and finding that there was improvement instead !!
And this was the time when I learnt for sure that there are so many things beyond our control in life. As a doctor , my job is to do my best, but the outcome is entirely in HIS hands. We find very often that a person may die in spite of the best possible medical treatment ; and another , like this child,may survive in spite of an expected poor outcome.
You can call this controlling force God or luck or fortune, but the fact remains that we can only do so much in any situation, and the outcome depends on so many factors beyond our control . As doctors, many of us realise this fact quite early in our practice …like me in this situation…., and it can ( or should ! ) make us more humble. But for those who don’t realise it, it is very likely that they turn egotistical with their successful outcomes, they start thinking that they can control everything in their lives. And they are in for a shock when things don’t go their way.
And is this not true for every profession? Medical professionals may grasp this reality sooner ,being nearer to death and dying than others ; but every profession, every human being, faces many life situations in which they have to face and accept this reality ….that we cannot control everything in our lives, certainly not the span of our lives and there’s something larger than us which controls our lives.
In the current pandemic too, we have witnessed many elderly, high risk patients recover quickly from covid ; while some younger, low risk patients succumbed to the infection.
We have seen Covid warriors working very hard, getting exposed to many Covid cases , but remaining healthy and unscathed; and have also seen people taking utmost care….not going out at all, not allowing anyone to enter their homes, taking all possible hygienic precautions and still getting the infection!!
There’s no logic and reasoning in this, there’s no certainty like mathematical equations, the only certainty is that LIFE IS UNCERTAIN ! and the sooner we realise and accept it, the happier we can be.
Of course, this does NOT mean leaving everything to the mercy of God. It doesn’t mean that we sit back and do nothing. It just means that we do everything in our power , every single thing that we can, but leave the outcome to the higher Powers. We MUST do all that we can, with care and compassion and attention to details, but we should also be able to accept the fact that things can go wrong even if we do our best. And this is true for everyone, not just medical professionals. When we learn this acceptance and humility, we can only bow down in gratitude when things work out well for us. And if things do go wrong when we have done our best, we are able to accept the outcome as a matter of fact, without feeling guilty.
Hoping that all of us can accept the uncertainties of Life and still enjoy Life to the fullest,
Love,
Anjali Bhatawdekar
